This Jordan on the Wizards is actually good

Hey there boys and girl, what’s up? What a treat I have for you today, it’s Add/Drop Friday! I got so many names for you my head started to spin. While doing my research for today’s post, I noticed the ownership on certain guys are way too low. Hmm, perhaps some leagues are starting to get lazy. Maybe teams have given up, that must be it, why else would some guys listed below not be scooped up? Damn, I’m smart, see how far a little common sense and a 4th grade education can get you? Let’s get to it, shall we? Note all ownership percentages are from Yahoo!

Add (in random order):

Ramon Sessions – 61% owned. I went over him this past Monday and also in my weekly column. He’s good enough to be grabbed in shallow leagues if you need a point guard playing 30+ minutes a night. Little known fact, Ramon was born in Myrtle Beach, SC. I could have sworn he was born in like Puerto Rico or something. Yep, I profiled him. I’m sorry.

Eric Gordon – 56% owned. May come back for a few weeks in April, he may not, I don’t know, my Magic 8 Ball doesn’t specialize in pussies. Anyway, stash him if you have room otherwise don’t sweat it.

Jordan Crawford – 51% owned. Went over him this week here. Should be owned everywhere. Wake up!

Wilson Chandler – 51% owned. Went over him this week here. Should be owned everywhere. Wake up, part deux.

Klay Thompson – 49% owned. He got his very own lead in last week. Should be owned everywhere. Wake up, part tre. Why am I speaking French? wtf.

Derrick Williams – 48% owned. Stream him while Nikola Pekovic is sidelined. Getting minutes, y’all!

Spencer Hawes – 44% owned. 44%? Geez, Louise.

Nate Robinson – 43% owned. Psst, Stephen Curry probably isn’t coming back. Didn’t you hear?

Alonzo Gee – 41% owned. Gave him his very own headline way back on February 8. Yes, I’m usually ahead of the curve like that but you already knew that. What’s you waiting for, foo?

Zaza Pachulia – 36% owned. Been pimping Zaza since Al Horford went down. White man get no respek!

Kenneth Faried – 34% owned. If you could use a smattering of boards and blocks at forward, go do the needful. No, I’m not Indian.

C.J. Miles – 34% owned. He farted on your pillow last night but he spent 30 minutes farting and that’s better than 18 minutes of farting.

Gordon Hayward – 34% owned. Hey, did you hear Josh Howard is out for the year? Gordon should get lots of run so, um, run and pick him up. #lame

George Hill – 32% owned. Hey, did you hear Darren Collison sucks at playing basketball? Relatively speaking, of course.

Bismack Biyombo – 27% owned. See Kenneth Faried about 3 inches above. I don’t feel like typing the same stuff.

Chandler Parsons – 20% owned. Had him in my Add post two weeks ago so I hope you’ve been enjoying him since. I care, man.

Tristan Thompson – 18% owned. Finally getting some minutes love. Roll with TT at least until Anderson Varejao comes back, whenever that is.

Kawhi Leonard – 17% owned. Hey, did you hear Richard Jefferson was traded to Golden State? Kawhi is averaging around 35 mpg lately. What, you don’t like a guy getting minutes???

J.J. Barea – 15% owned. Hey, did you hear Ricky Rubio is taking an extended siesta and the T-Loves don’t have a shooting guard who would even start for Kentucky. I went over him in this post.

Courtney Lee – 14% owned. Hey, did you hear Kevin Martin has a tear in his shoulder and who knows when he’s coming back. Go ahead and take a whirl on Courtney. Right now you can’t even make fun of his girl’s name. He’s been that good!

Daniel Green – 14% owned. You could do worse in deep leagues. I guess.

Gary Neal – 13% owned. One time in band camp there was this boy and his name was Tony Parker and he hurt his hammy or something like that and now he’s day to day and so Gary Neal probably makes for a good streamer.

Ekpe Udoh – 10% owned. Sneaking his way back into the rotation. He’s kinda like Biyombo, Faried, Tristan Thompson. You know, boards and blocks, yada, yada, yada.

Kirk Hinrich – 7% owned. Went over him here and blurbed about him a few other times lately. Go ahead and put his name in the search box then hit enter and you’ll see for yourself but I’m going to assume you’ve got better things to do than to read my bitching about how little Kirk does.

Kevin Seraphin – 7% owned. Scoop him up if Trevor Booker is to miss any time. Kev aint bad!

C.J. Watson – 4% owned. Hey, did you hear Derrick Rose is deciding to rest up for the playoffs? He aint no Kobe!

Greg Stiemsma – 2% owned. I told you to pick him up earlier this week if you needed blocks. I can’t remember the exact blurb but smegma was involved. In his last 5 he’s blocked the ball a whopping 16 times. Yep, he’s a big block guy which is ironic because he’s white.

Chris Singleton – 1% owned. In more shocking NBA injury news, Rashard Lewis is out indefinitely so Chris should continue to see burn at the 3. You could do worse says Jan Vesely.

Jeremy Lin – 91% owned. The wonders of Jeremy Lin never cease. Here’s more good stuff. Jeremy Lin at his peak ownership was 92% owned. Therefore, I will surmise that roughly 8% of Yahoo! leagues are actually dead. Now you know. Thank you, Jeremy. You’re so great.

Drop (in random order):

Kevin Martin – 91% owned. Drop if you need to win now otherwise stash.

Kyle Lowry – 85% owned. Drop if you need to win now otherwise stash!!

Stephen Curry – 74% owned. Drop if you need to win now otherwise stash!!!

Caron Butler – 70% owned. He sucks so lose him in shallow leagues.

Darren Collison – 74% owned. He sucks so lose him in shallow leagues!

Danilo Gallinari – 69% owned. He’s toast.

O.J. Mayo – 54% owned. He’s squeezed. Pardon the pun.

Andray Blatche – 48% owned. He’s not even toast, he’s like the crust on the toast without the butter.

Emeka Okafor – 41% owned. Plenty of guys on the Add list who can do what he can do even when he’s back healthy.

Rudy Fernandez – 12% owned. He’s toast.

Randy Foye – 11% owned. Fooeeee.

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