Last night it was announced that Ty Lawson will be going for an MRI on his strained Achilles, I think he hurt it shoving his foot up his owners’ ass! Anyway, it’s reasonable to expect he will miss some time, maybe a game, maybe 3. Maybe more! I think it would be best for everyone involved if he sat out a week or more to get healthy, don’t you think? Don’t bother answering, I can’t see or hear you. In the meantime, you know what to do, go grab yourself some Andre Miller if he’s floating around the wire in your shallow league or sleepy standard league. Last night all he did was drop 12/3/12 with a steal in 41 minutes. Andre Miller is like the new Jose Calderon! By the way, have you ever noticed how similar Andre looks to Richard Pryor? It’s uncanny! Here, see for yourself. For good measure, here’s another one of Andre just after dishing the rock. You satisfied? Here’s what else I saw in fantasy basketball yesterday:
DeAndre Jordan – 11/11/0 with 3 steals and 3 blocks in 26 minutes. That’s the good news. The bad news is he shot a vomitatious 3-10 FT. I own him in a couple of leagues and checking my daily team stats in one league I saw my FT% was .411. I did a double take, um, what? Then I saw 7-17. Um, huh? Then I saw Jordan 3-10 FT. Oh, well, that sucked.
Caron Butler – 7/2/0 with a three in 27 minutes. This is off a 29 point effort on Sunday. Timmbberrrrrrrrrrrr. I know you’re not surprised.
Vince Carter – 23/4/2 with a steal and 4 threes in 30 minutes. I admit I haven’t shown Vince much love this year. I haven’t hated on him either, I’ve just basically ignored him. That said, he hasn’t been that bad in around 24 mpg. You could probably do worse than 12 ppg/4 rpg/1.9 3pm in deeep leagues. Expect some regression though with Dirk Nowitzki back but he’ll still have his days in the sun once in awhile. He maybe burn you some nights though. See what I did there?
Darren Collison – 15/3/8 with a three in 38 minutes. I don’t know why but I just have this untrusting feeling he’s not going to continue to see north of 33 mpg even though he doesn’t really have much competition for his job. Rodrigue Beabois? As if!
O.J. Mayo – 15/1/5 with 2 steals and 3 threes in 36 minutes. I suggested him as a buy low target on Monday after he’s been a sell high all year. Fantasy basketball! It’s so fluid.
Bradley Beal – 22/4/2 with 4 threes in 35 minutes. He was also a minus 18 which I’ve heard some NBA analysts say is a meaningless statistic. Is it really?
Jordan Crawford – 9/2/4 with a three in 24 minutes. Should soon be back up to speak which would make Garrett Temple irrelevant again. You know, obscure!
Martell Webster – 14/6/1 with 2 threes in 31 minutes. Over his last 5 Martell is averaging 31 mpg/9.6 ppg/5.6 rpg/1.6 3pm/.415 FG. If that flies your kite in deeep leagues, then fly away! Or stream him in H2H leagues if you need cheap threes.
Amare Stoudemire – Debuted and posted 6/1/0 with a block in 17 minutes. Don’t expect the Amare of old but he’ll be decent for a little bit o’ dis and a little bit o’ dat. I’m too lazy to add the apostrophe in Amare so just imagine it.
Pablo Prigioni – 2/3/3 with a steal in 22 minutes. Meh. After the Ray Felton injury I wasn’t loving Pablo in anything but deeep leagues to begin with. It’s all J.R. Smith and Jason Kidd right now, son!
Isaiah Thomas – 12/2/2 with a steal and two threes in 26 minutes. Aaron Brooks returned to cramp Isaiah’s style a bit and I don’t really see that stopping until Keith Smart gets fired. Not sure if he’ll get fired since fantasy basketball owners don’t have much say … unfortunately! Carry on with Isaiah anyway, his arrow is pointing up compared to last month at least.
John Salmons – 10/1/6 with a steal and 2 threes in 26 minutes. Over his last 5 John has been very solid posting 31 mpg/15 ppg/3.4 rpg/4.8 apg/2 3pm. You can either ride him until the wheels fall off or try to sell him high. Your choice. Your team! I’d try to sell him high, maybe as the second player in a two for one or something like that.
Kyle Singler – Exploded for 4/4/2 with a steal in 33 minutes. Um, yay? There are no awards for fantasy nothingness. Maybe I’ll make that an award at the end of the year. Most useless fantasy player averaging over 30 minutes per!
Kyle Korver – 14/3/2 with 4 threes in 31 minutes. Now averaging 32 mpg and 2.8 3pm over his last 5. He’s not going anywhere. Not until he hurts his back again anyway.
Zaza Pachulia – 12/10/0 with a block in 20 minutes. If Zaza blocked the ball a bit I’d like him a whole lot more but he’s only at .3 bpg on the season. Not enough to get it done, mmm-mmm. In standard leagues anyway.
Greivis Vasquez – 17/9/10 with a three and a block in 39 minutes. He was also named Western Conference Player of the Week. I had him ranked 103 overall in my pre-season Draft Guide. That was much higher than other, um, experts. You’re welcome if you drafted him. I know I did! (where I could I mean).
Ryan Anderson -23/6/0 with 5 threes. Has now bounced back with 4 straight solid games after hitting a rough spell for a few games. OMG, you guys can be such a nervous bunch. I hope you didn’t sell him low. I warned you! I know, I know OMG is quite gay. Sorry!