Go ahead and put the name Kobe Bryant into the search box here at hecmanhoops. Go ahead, don’t be shy, it’s fun! Try it and see what comes up. Actually, I’ll save you the trouble, you’re not going to find much. There’s nothing to ever report! Other than his stellar fantasy lines anyway and where’s the fun in writing about something you already knew. What possible insight could I give you about Kobe Bryant that could improve your lives? If you Kobe Bryant owners want to get sucked up to on a daily basis then feel free to head on over to Rotoworld, they’ll be happy to throw you a bone. The blurb will look something like this:
KOBE BYRANT: Kobe scored 31 points with 7 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 steals and 2 threes. Just another night at the office for Kobe.
If you own him congratulations, he’s good!
That’s not any slight on the good folks over at Rotoworld, they gots to do what they gots to do. It’s just that giving fantasy insight on Kobe Bryant is, um, non-existent so that’s why you don’t read much about the Kobes, Lebrons and Durants of the world here, there is nothing to say and I’m not going to just vomit out a box score that you already saw last night. You feelz me? We are hardcore up in this here house, y’all! Anyway, if I’m leading in with Kobe today you know it’s not good news. Last night he suffered what’s being called a severe ankle sprain and is being listed as “out indefinitely” which probably means until Friday night when the Lakers play the Pacers. No, seriously, wouldn’t shock me at all! Anyway, let’s wait for more news after the MRI today but for now I’m going to assume he won’t be sidelined too long. In the meantime, go grab yourself some Antawn Jamison who will probably pick up the scoring slack, Jodie Meeks also makes for a nice little play in the interim. Of course, this is all contingent on Kobe actually missing some time. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. Oh, the drama! Here’s what else I saw in fantasy basketball yesterday:
Nick Young – 3/0/0 with a steal and a three in 6 minutes. Keep monitoring him. I think he’s going to get back into the rotation if he’s fully healthy so definitely keep an eye on him. Use the other eye to watch American Idol or some other show like Dancing with the Stars which starts next week on ABC. I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars.
Mike Dunleavy – 0/4/0 on 0-6 FG in 26 minutes. I feel like missing every shot today and killing my fantasy owners, said Marco Belinelli! (see below if you don’t know what I’m talking about). Carry on with Mike! That is if you’re carrying on with him I mean. It’s all soooo exciting.
Garrett Temple – 13/3/4 on 6-7 FG. If he could shoot 6-7 FG every game and if Bradley Beal were to never come back then I would say to grab Garrett Temple ASAP. Then again, if dollars grew on trees, I’d also tell you to grab the money!
Luke Ridnour – 17/3/0 with a three in 37 minutes as the T-Wolves fell to 22-40 on the season. I’m starting to get a sneaky suspicion that Luke is somehow related to the coach. Why else would the backup point guard continue to start at two guard all while losing virtually every game they play? I think it will continue though, seems logical to me!
Jonas Valanciunas – Yes, I’m well aware that Andrea Barganani has been lost for the year and maybe you Bargnani owners are looking for some pity words but you won’t get none of that here, man. Nope, let’s just let him go silently into the night! JV is back, y’all! Go ahead and grab him in your 12 team league if he was dropped. You can always launch him if he farts on your pillow … again!
Brandon Bass – 11/6/0 with a steal and two blocks in 26 minutes. Since what’s his face went down, Jared Sullinger, Brandon has been definitely useful in 12 team leagues. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not blowing my socks off or anything like that but definitely useful, definitely useful, said Rain Man!
Earl Clark – 4/3/0 in 13 minutes. Turned his ankle because he wanted to be like Kobe Bryant! If Kobe misses time (as if!) then Earl is worth keeping around, if Kobe doesn’t miss time then feel free to launch him if you already haven’t. Not sure if you heard but Pau Gasol is back soon and will be inserted into the starting lineup! What that means with Mike D’Antoni as the coach I have no idea! Really, I have no idea. Pau best get minutes!
Devin Harris -17/3/7 with a three in 34 minutes. You don’t need me to tell you to keep streaming him everywhere while Jeff Teague remains sidelined, do you? Well, I just did anyway!
Luis Scola – 14/4/1 in 14 minutes as the Suns got blown out. Their record now stands at 22-43 and 9-15 under Lyndsey Hunter. That’s actually an improvement! The only front guys I trust right now are Luis, Jermaine O’Neal and, sadly, Wes Johnson a little bit.
Donatas Motiejunas – 19/5/2 with 2 threes and a block in 28 minutes. Meanwhile, back at the Aeronautical Space Museum, Thomas Robinson dropped 12/7/0 with a steal in 20 minutes. Thus, further confusing hecman. I’m easily confused, what can I say? Keep monitoring to see what happens in a game that is actually competitive I suppose. Just do it. Like Nike!
Paul Millsap – 7/7/1 with 3 steals in 20 minutes. What is this, a Little League game? It’s like every player had to get in the game to appease the parents. Here are your minutes from last night for 11 Utah players, I won’t name names to protect the innocent: 20, 19, 18, 24, 21, 24, 25, 23, 19, 12 and 28. Very fantasy useful!
Marcus Thornton – 7/0/0 with a three in 12 minutes. This game was over by halftime. Hell it was over by the end of the first quarter! Carry on!
Marco Belinelli – 0/1/2 on 0-9 FG in 22 minutes. Hey, Marcus Thornton, whatever you can do, I can do worse! Carry on, part due! That’s two in Italian by the way.
Carmelo Anthony – 9/5/3 in 22 minutes. A Melo blurb! See Kobe Bryant above and you know the news can’t be good if I’m blurbing about Carmelo, son! Give the uptick to J.R. Smith if Carmelo is to miss time which he will! Maybe at least a week, hard to say right now. Nice timing, just in time for the playoffs!, said his H2H Owner. Sigh. In the meantime, I’ll be your Huckleberry! said Chris Copeland.
Wilson Chandler -24/4/0 with 3 steals and a three. It was an uncompetitive game but that didn’t stop Wilson. It’s always against the former teams, eh? Assign same value you had for him yesterday morning.
Ed Davis – 2/1/0 with a block. Let’s just get one thing straight so we are clear. As long as Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph are both healthy there is no other forward on Memphis worth owning. Nobody!, said Meyers Leonard.
Rodney Stuckey – 22/3/5 with a steal and a three in 38 minutes. Meanwhile, back at the farm, Will Bynum dropped 16/2/4 with 3 steals. Both look useful again in 12 team leagues so go do the needful! No, I’m not Indian but I like Indian food!
Jarrett Jack – 19/1/5 with 2 threes in 30 minutes. He’s been struggling lately but I don’t really see any reason why he shouldn’t have games closer to last night than his last few poor nights. Not to change the subject or anything but who else besides me would love to see the Warriors wear tight fitting pants with those cool new short sleeved jerseys for all home games next year? Nobody raises hand.
Matt Barnes -14/7/3 with a steal, a block and 2 threes in 38 minutes. I mentioned last week he was resurfacing and had him on the positive side of last week’s Add/Drop post. I also threw him some love on the podcast Tuesday night. Oh, you missed the podcast? Don’t worry, it’s available on iTunes! >>> Shameless plug.